100 Days Challenge, Day 16 (Sap Warning!)

Joy is a funny thing, Hit&Runners.

It sneaks up on you, generally when you have thrown your hands up and screamed "I give up!" at the universe.  I guess in some pseudo-spiritual, touchy-feely, corny way, the universe wants you to give up.  But what it wants you to give up is control of things you simply can't.

From my run today, Jackie Robinson Little League Field in Lowry Sports Park

I was running today, on Day 16, and thinking about what I have either been through or put myself through in the past year, good and not-so-good.  What occurred to me, sometime during Billy Joel's "Second Wind" playing on my iPod, is that I am so happy here in Denver.  I can't believe I ever for one second thought about leaving it for someone else's happiness.  The truth is, H&Rs, I had my heart broken this fall, and when I was in the throes of it, I was absolutely certain that I'd never reclaim myself.  I thought I was losing my mind, I thought I was being karmically punished somehow or that I was just so underserving of love that I somehow brought this collapse about myself.  The truth is, it isn't my fault.  It isn't his either, actually.  We just tried too hard to control the universe.  Or some such nonsense.

Anyhow, joy is sneaking back into my life with reckless abandon.  There is always stress, there is always a problem of some kind to deal with, but I'm here, my heart is open, and I am doing my best to only think in a forward, positive motion.  As I do reclaim myself, I notice the opportunities around me practically falling at my feet.  I move my body, I listen to what people have to say, I smile a lot and let myself believe that it is okay to be optimistic.  It is comforting in a small way to know that even in my darkest moments, that cock-eyed optimism was always there.  You can't feel hurt unless you believe in joy.  

How about that for a little psychobabble on Day 16?

Go Go Go!
Coach Andi